As the lurid excesses of the swirling 1970s give way to the neutral pastal shades of the early 1980s, David is ten years old but growing-up fast in a broken home in the north-east of England. Life for him and his brother is a constant whirl of interrogating parents, would-be step-families and over-bearing relatives. David lives with his mam, except at weekends when he sees his dad and his gran, who's always off impersonating Shirley Bassey down the working-men's clubs. The big women in his family talk to him like a grown-up, like he's one of the girls. They tell him he's bright, that he's sensitive, special. But such a strange boy...Afraid to trust his instincts and with his loyalties torn in two, David must face up to his childhood's end, his feuding family and his own burgeoning sexuality. And when everything around you is just take, take, take something's got to give...no matter who gets hurt in the process. Warm and funny, evocative and true, Paul Magrs' characters come so alive on the page you'll find yourself drawn into David's world with all defences down. It's a wild playground of messed-up lives and torn-up families and the strength of a secret, special love.
Frank Lurcher and Tolstoy the Long-Eared Bat! Twenty years ago they were the biggest names in ventriloquism with their TV show. But all good things come to an end. Now, Frank Lurcher's a washed-out, grumpy has-been and his scraggy puppet Tolstoy is stuffed away in a trunk in the loft. But trouble is brewing. Frank suddenly declares that his teenage son, Jason, must follow in the family tradition and get a puppet of his own! But someone's got a shrewd idea who that puppet should be. Someone with green eyes, moth-eaten velvety wings, a snarling snout and two extra-large pointy ears...Tolstoy is making a comeback - with Jason as his new chosen puppeteer. He's out for another shot at TV superstardom, and a gruesome revenge on the showbiz puppets and people that wronged him in the past. Can Jason fight his evil controlling power? Will the lovely Lisa Turmoil, hair-stylist to the stars, help him in his battle - or just go off and give someone a perm? And if you cook a puppet ostrich in a microwave oven, does it count as murder?
Helen and her sister Eunice have auditioned again and again for all the TV talent shows. But nobody wants to know. They've been sent home by 'Star Turn', 'Search for a Celeb' - by everyone! Helen's a bit small and dumpy, but she has the voice of an angel. Eunice is a stunner, but when she sings it's with the voice of a warthog. As individuals, they're hopeless. But when their pushy mum pairs up with a new boyfriend, he comes up with a fantastic way for them to get to the top...Is 'Diva Wars' ready for the singing Siamese twin sisters?
THE DIARY OF A DR.WHO ADDICT
It's the 1980's and David has just started secondary school. He's becoming a teenager, but still hanging onto the rituals of childhood, particularly his addiction to Doctor Who, sharing the books with his best friend and neighbour, Robert, and watching the TV show. But time moves relentlessly on, and Robert starts rejecting the Doctor in favour of girls, free weights and new music. Against a backdrop of Bowie, Breville toasters and trips to Blackpool, David acknowledges his own abilities and finds his place in the world.
Mum wouldn’t believe me when I told her Dad had been taken away by the Ninnies.
She thought he’d left us of his own accord. She thought he’d taken his bucket, ladder and chamois leather on his window round that Monday and simply never came back because he’d gone off us. Or that he’d imagined a better life somewhere else. ‘He could never stand any pressure,’ she sighed, eating another handful of Flying Saucers. ‘He was never any good with stress.’But I knew. I knew he’d never just up and leave us. Not with Squoosh, my little sister on the way. I knew what had really happened.He had been taken away by the Ninnies.Though Mum would not listen to a word of it. ‘You’re too fanciful,’ she told me, cramming another load of Flying Saucers into her mouth as she sat there at the kitchen table. ‘You get it from him. He was always dreaming. Making daft things up. All about the things he saw through people’s windows!’ I could tell that Mum herself was making stuff up as she ranted. She was making herself believe that we would be better off without him.
We both knew that wasn’t true.
An entirely new novel from Paul Magrs, creator of Iris Wildthyme, Brenda and Effie and author of the best-selling AudioGo! Fourth Doctor adventures.
In a one time only limited edition of 100 hardback copies. Available from obversebooks.co.uk and Amazon.
“A deliciously dark tale of crunchy crisps, abridged animals and merciless Mancunian monsters. When you read The Ninnies you may laugh or you may cry – but you’ll definitely sleep with the lights on…” – Tommy Donbavand, author of Scream Street
“The Ninnies whisks the reader away into the great dark stretch of some fabulous nightmare, pinned down by Paul Magrs with poetry and precision. Vivid fantasy with the warmest heart, best read by torchlight in the dark.” – Steve Cole, author of Astrosaurs